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Fundamentally Unlovable

by Tiger Really

supported by
Jenn Chng
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eggshel
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chrismaghintay
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Zach Ezer
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about

This song is about grief, self-sabotage, and feeling your emotions spiral out of control. My personal context for this is a relationship I had with an exchange student from England in my last year of university.

I wrote the song mainly in the time surrounding that, there was a lot of other life and family stuff on top of the grief of losing that person which I was coping with in really unhealthy ways. I was spiraling out wildly into a cycle of isolation, substance abuse, self-harm, and making impulsive and reckless decisions that inadvertently hurt people I truly loved and cared about.

lyrics

sorry i evidently can’t keep myself occupied enough to never
think of you and me and the way it used to be
not knowing better that no one lives forever

i spent the weekend letting go of everyone i used to know
and we’ll never meet again, we’ll never meet again
shit faced and holing up alone scraping the splinters off the bone
and we’ll never meet again, we’ll never meet again

shredding my stuff, wasting another christmas counting down the new
years in a cave scratching walls that never break
sick of the throwbacks, your chicken rice and prozac

i spent the weekend letting go of everyone i used to know
and how we’ll never meet again, and we’ll never meet again
shit faced and holing up alone scraping the splinters off the bone
and we’ll never meet again, and we’ll never meet again

i woke up this one time in the middle of the night
you were sleeping to my left, blanket wrapped around your thighs
and i remember looking at you and thinking
just how hard this would kill me

i didn’t mean to run away, it’s just a bad habit of mine
stay up with paris, france but england’s always slightly out of time
stare up at the moon for hours, pretend as if to hold you in the eye
punch in the same eleven numbers just to hear you say goodbye

(it’s never perfect)
i wrote a big dramatic letter on the night you went away
(i’ll never rest in peace)
wanting to be a stone but more than that, i wanted you to stay
(it’s never perfect)
reduced a lifetime to a page of what i needed you to know
(i’ll never rest in peace)
that from the start i knew that nothing else could ever feel so

i'll never see your face again, and i'll never hear you laugh again
i'll never wake up with sticky eyes on a sunday afternoon to you playing guitar softly in the other room.
now you only exist in polaroids and voice notes and algorithmic photo memories, and i just can't

credits

released February 28, 2024
Drums by Amogh Rao
Produced by Lian Shao
Mixed by Matt Di Pomponio
Cover Art by Harry Sung

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Tiger Really Vancouver, British Columbia

jazzy emo band from vancouver b.c.

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